When No One Feels Guilty

We’ve recently explored how to talk to people about sin when they struggle with the word, or they don’t believe sin is real (see this Winepress reflection and this Sunday teaching). I recently listened to an interview with Christopher Cook and Jon Tyson, pastor of Church of the City in New York. Hear him summarize the book Atonement for a Sinless Society by Alan Mann:

He goes on to say that because people are less trustful of any source outside themselves, the only thing they have left is a desire to heal themselves from within, medicate themselves, or justify themselves, but nothing helps. This reality is increasing especially for young people, whose levels of anxiety and shame are skyrocketing.

We should pay attention when people are doing anything that sounds like ‘project self.’ It could be a perfectly good and normal thing they’re doing, or they may be covering up shame and may not even recognise it as a shame response. Here are some ways we can invite people to share with us:

• ‘I hear you’re trying mindfulness exercises - tell me more about that.’

• ‘I hear you’re dieting and exercising more - tell me more about that.’

• ‘The misery you’re sharing with me seems to be so different from what I see on your social media profile - why is that?’

We invite people to share with us because Jesus may be the only one who can help them:

• There may be self-hatred that will only be healed by knowing that Jesus loves them.

• There may be fear that will only be healed by knowing that Jesus is with them and for them.

• There may be anger that will only be healed by receiving Jesus’ forgiveness.

• There may be shame that will only be healed by knowing that Jesus died for their sin.

But someone has to say to them, ‘Tell me more’ and then pray for them and then speak the truth in love!